Car rent with driver tour around Hat Patong

Patong (ป่าตอง) is a free-for-all and by far Phuket’s most notorious and divisive destination. Between the concrete, silicone and moral turpitude, almost anything is available for the right price and, while that’s true of other places in Thailand, Patong doesn’t try to hide it. Of course, that doesn’t mean you’re going to like it; some people avoid this part of Phuket entirely.

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Gaze out at the wide, white-sand beach and its magnificent crescent bay, however, and you’ll understand how the whole thing started. Diving and spa opportunities abound, along with upscale dining, street-side fish grills, extravagant cabaret, Thai boxing, dusty antique shops and – Patong’s main draw for many – the chance to party from dusk until dawn.

Meanwhile the sun-scorched visitors in bad knock-off T-shirts, the endless tour groups, the foreign men turning the midlife crisis into a full-scale industry and the overwhelming disregard for managed development make Patong ripe with unintentional comedy.